Who is in control around here?

March 15th, 2011
There cannot be a single person out there who is not aware of all the disasters that have happened on our planet lately. Uncountable earthquakes in New Zealand, and now the horrifying earthquakes and tsunami in Japan. I was talking to Thierry a couple of days ago (you know, our friendly publisher!) about all this. He said “Have you read Diana Cooper’s book 2012 and Beyond lately?”. There are many books, many prophesies, many warning about what could happen next year. Looks like something is already happening now. I am currently spending my yearly six months in California, and often hear about “the BIG one” that is due to happen here, I am in San Jose, right on top of many faults, so we live with the constant possibility of an earthquake.

So the next time I went shopping I decided to do a little shopping that would carry us through the first few days of any emergency. Water, canned food, matches. I don’t want to get paranoid about this, as I did about Y2K for a while, nor do I want to live in fear, but some precautions seem in order.

What is certain is that we are not in control. We can control how we treat our planet, we can control how we take care of ourselves and all life on earth. But in the end, Earth, Gaia, the Universe, they are in charge.

Watching Spring arrive here, tiny green leaves appearing on trees, blossoms of every colour delight my eyes, colours bursting out of the soil, all that is the Earth showing us her gentle side. In Japan, as in Haiti, our planet showed us who is control. I sense there will be many more disasters over the next two year. Blessings on us all.


Beautiful tree outside Joan’s house




Japanese Maple coming into leaf in our garden.





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Let’s talk about listening…

February 10th, 2011
Have you ever experienced a situation when you are telling someone a story and almost before you have finished they have come back with one of their own? I can already hear you shout a big YES. Of course you have. We all do it sometimes. While the other person is speaking to us we are already rehearsing our reply. And that’s not really listening. is it?

Here’s a typical conversation.

Mary says, “So there I was in hospital waiting for my dinner and when it came it was just awful……”. Without a break, Betty jumps in, “Oh yes I had exactly the same experience, they gave me a terrible stew with grey potatoes….”.

So what’s wrong with the above?  Looks like Betty had little interest in what Mary was saying, she only wanted to tell her what she had experienced. The conversation probably would proceed as a competition of who could jump in more quickly to get their point across.

So what would you do?

Mary says, “So there I was in hospital waiting for my dinner and when it came it was just awful……”. You reply, “Oh dear, that sounds awful, what did they give you?” Mary then says, “Some soggy vegetables and a piece of unknown meat, how about you, have you ever had an experience like that?”  Now that’s what I call an equal conversation.

Many years ago at Findhorn I participated in a workshop where we had to have conscious conversations. I was shocked at how difficult it was, like learning to walk in a completely different way. Over the years I have practiced this whenever I remember! Often I forget. Then I realise it is my ego needing to heard, needing to be number one, needing to tell my story. Have a look at these pictures below, which of them do you think is a conscious conversation with respectful listening?

I would say that Cornelia is listening with interest to George, don’t you?



Martha is telling a story and Judy is deeply listening here.



Judy, Joan and Kate having what looks like a friendly discussion at the Garage Sale.



Even at a special dinner, I think this looks like a conscious conversation.



Charles, Gabrielle and Liza are definitely enjoying their three way catch up conversation. They are all three engaged and listening.



Next time you’re out, or talking to someone at home, be aware of what is going on. Watch others, and more important, watch yourself.  If you have any interesting stories yourself, please tell us.


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Lets talk about…cats

February 1st, 2011
Yes, cats! Sweet little pussy cats that curl up in your lap and purr and skittish loners that will not appreciate you unless you happen to be feeding them, and even then only their very favourite food.

Why cats today? Because that’s what popped into my head sitting here at my daughter’s dining room table watching her three very different cats. Actually we never see all three of them together, because Little One and TC can’t tolerate each other. So Little One sleeps alone in one bedroom at night and is carefully taken downstairs in the morning and let outside. At night he waits to be called and taken up to his room. The cat Little One fears is called TC, or Rogue. He appeared one day in my daughter’s house through the cat door and absolutely refused to leave. Nothing short of murder would have got rid of him, and he has now taken over the whole household. That’s TC below. He has a HUGE personality.



The third cat in this house is Toffee, he still thinks he is the Alpha cat, and somehow copes with TC, and does his best to protect Little One, who is a very shy and scared cat.



My partner Judy has a cat in California, her name is Budlight. She arrived in her garden when she was a couple of weeks old, tiny and obviously a feral kitten. Budlight is typically the “cat that’s walks on its own”. She comes and goes as she pleases, sometimes is away for days. Judy can stroke her but not pick her up, and sometimes Budlight will curl up on the carpet next to her. She tolerates me, but would obviously prefer to have Judy to herself. It’s going to be tough for both her and Judy to have me around again. That’s Budlight below, she’s a very pretty cat.



I do like cats, when I was younger I used to have cats, but these days I find their hair gives me allergies and makes my nose itch.


Our Carol at Findhorn Press has two Siamese cats. I’m never sure how I feel feel about Siamese cats, I would not choose one myself. But they are very elegant and self assured I suppose.



One of my favourite people in the world, Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now) said “I have lived with several Zen masters — all of them cats!” Perhaps he means Siamese?


Who would have thought that Findhorn Press would publish a book about cats? Thierry has these strange moments, perhaps he is a cat lover after all. Or possibly he had guidance from one of these Zen Masters? It can’t be that he had nothing else to publish  because he gets 1000+ submissions a year from hopeful authors. So there must be something special about this one.



For those of you who enjoy Rudyard Kipling, or even those who have not read any of his stories yet, go and read this one http://boop.org/jan/justso/cat.htm about “The cat that walk on his own”




I’m a Leo myself, with some affinity to cats. I like to be stroked and cuddled and fed when hungry, and have a warm, cosy place to sleep. But I don’t like to walk on my own.


You a cat lover?




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Let’s talk about…books

January 24th, 2011
That is where it all started isn’t it? Me talking about books. Not just any old books, but Findhorn Press books.

I’ve been spending the past week visiting Thierry and his partner Jean Francois in their beautiful new house in the countryside of France. The sun has been shining, the sky blue, and the temperature hovering around zero. While this might tempt the serious hiker outside, it has had me keeping close to the radiators and in the evening, the wood stove. So what was I to do? I can only spend just so much time in front of my computer, there had to be something else I could do far, far away from even a simple village.

So I looked around here. I am sitting in Thierry’s office, it’s the warmest place in the house. And what am I surrounded by? Books. And more books. And not just any old books, but all Findhorn Press books. So to amuse myself I started pulling down some of the titles that caught my attention.

The Future in the Stars by Alison Chester-Lambert caught my eye, especially the sub title, The Astrological Message for 2012 and beyond. Wow, it seems it’s all in the new dwarf planets. I am of course very interested in what will happen to us all in 2012. In November 2012 we will also celebrate the Findhorn Community’s 50th birthday, and I hope to be there to celebrate with old friends from everywhere around the world.



I notice that there is a whole shelf of Diana Cooper books and other products, if you have not discovered Diana and her Angels yet, please do it now. She also has a fascinating connection with Atlantis.


Of course all the Eileen Caddy books are here, I must read her autobiography Flight Into Freedom and Beyond again sometime. Of course I still often dip into Opening Doors Within, as I imagine many of you do also.



But what I just took down from the shelf is eleven smaller books that I intend to look through this afternoon. In 2003, that seems such a long time ago now, I had the idea for a series of books called The Findhorn Book Of…., with titles such as Connecting with Nature, Unconditional Love, Everyday Abundance and Guidance and Intuition. They were real little treasures, small enough to pop into a pocket or handbag. I checked to see if they were still in print, and found that they are, and all are discounted by 67%. You could get three for under £10! And all eleven books for around £30. That’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t do this, but my favourite is The Findhorn Book of Vegetarian Recipes by Kay Lynne Sherman, not just because Kay Lynne is a dear friend of mine, but also because it is the best vegetarian cookbook I have ever used.



Having now talked about books, I’m going to spend some time actually reading them. It’s nearly 6 o’clock, the sun is beginning to go down, the sunsets here are amazing. I’ve had an interesting afternoon talking to you, but I do need a break from the computer now. And perhaps an aperitif. And then dinner with a nice bottle of wine, after all this is France.

Love and blessings to all, Karin


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Let’s talk about resurrection…

January 7th, 2011
I just looked back on my last entry here. August 23rd. Of course it was about Procrastination!!! Now that was one hell of a procrastination, don’t you think? I’d like to tell you why, but I really don’t know. I can think of a dozen reasons, but none of them make sense to me, so why should they make sense to you? And why should you be interested anyway? I think this is a moment of letting go of the past, it’s over, and just being in the now. Thank you Eckhart Tolle.

To put it all in a sentence, I had to leave Judy and California in October because of my visa ending, my brother in law died the day after I left and I decided to spend the winter months in Findhorn, arriving here early November and almost ready to leave. Yup, that was one sentence.

It’s been an amazing winter here, the lowest temperatures for 120 years. Lots and lots and lots of snow.


Findhorn is the same. And different. The physical appearance of totally different with all the new ecological houses, and new business.



But the spirit is the same. The people are just as wonderful (do they arrive like that or does living here make them so?). Christmas was a warm and loving experience, I helped cook the Christmas Dinner, something I did for many years in the “olden days”.



A belated Happy New Year to you all. May we all receive what we need, and give what we can in 2011.  Let us bring peace into ourselves and into the world.


And to myself? Happy Resurrection Karin! Come out of hiding and bring your joy and love back into the world. See you all soon, very soon. Promise!






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Let’s talk about… procrastination

August 23rd, 2010
But perhaps we could wait until tomorrow?

Yes, that’s me. Madame Procrastinator Supreme. Always have been. It drives me crazy, as well as everybody else. You’d think that by the age of 70 I might be over it.

After all I have managed to deal with many other annoying habits I have carried with me throughout my life. Like biting my nails. I hoped I would get over it when my childhood ended. No luck. I was actually 60 before I managed to beat this little devil. At least I won’t go to my death bed with chomped down nails. These days I even wear nail polish sometimes.

One of my worst habits has always been my sulking and withdrawal. When something did not suit me, or I wanted to be right, or wanted my way, I sulked to the point of passive aggressive behavior, something I inherited from my mother. Friends and work colleagues didn’t know about this, I mostly used it with my partner. Poor Thierry suffered a lot from it. I remember a couple of dreadful times. Once I had asked him to pick me up late at night from a workshop. He suggested I ask one of the other participants so he did not have to make an extra journey. I was appalled, why couldn’t he come and fetch me? I sulked, and refused to ask anyone for a ride. I ended up walking 5 long miles in the middle of the night in pouring rain before I phoned him and told him what I was doing. Another time I remember walking out of the house and walking through town, and not really knowing what I was going to do. I mean, where could I run away to? How childish that was.

It was when I began living my lesbian life that it all fell apart. Women just did not seem to notice when I sulked, or worse still, they had the same habit! When I got together with Judy five years ago, I got into my usual pattern of sulks and withdrawal when she did something I didn’t like. Watching TV for instance. Or reading when I wanted to sleep. Of course I could not just be straightforward and ask her to stop. I know she would have been quite sensitive to my needs, but I was so used to making myself and everyone miserable that I just could not stop.

Judy hardly noticed. That annoyed me even more! I would sometimes burst into angry tears. “Can’t you see how miserable I am?” I would say and then would storm out of the room. She would go back to her book until I got over it – in fact she treated me as a responsible adult instead of an unruly child.

I can’t remember quite when I “got” it, but thank goodness I no longer feel the need to sulk, and my passive aggressive behavior is a thing of the past. I am so much happier now.

But this procrastination thing is still very much with me. I make lists of “to do” things, and then only do the things that are easy. I really enjoy doing laundry and ironing and cooking, and playing scrabble of course.

At the moment I have been procrastinating painting a door which is half done, several weeks have passed since I started this job. I enjoy painting, so why can’t I finish it?

And the main reason for writing this blog is that I have also been procrastinating writing it for some weeks. I feel guilty and ashamed, wishing it would all go away. I don’t want to let Thierry down. I even enjoy writing – so what IS the problem?

I know I am also supposed to connect with other bloggers to widen my audience, but asking for help – well that is another big block for me. Oh how I make my life complicated and difficult.

How can I help myself? Who will help me? I can’t just give up. I want to get my life in order over the next ten or twenty years so I won’t have to do it all again next time.

Anyway, you can see I have done it – AT LAST.

Now I will reward myself by doing something else  really fun.




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Let’s talk about…Happiness

July 25th, 2010
“If I just found someone to love me I would be really happy”. “When I have paid all my debts, I will at last be happy”. “It makes me so happy when my child gets good grades at school”.

True or False? All of the above are false. And yet how many times a day do I say or think something similar? For me the most frequent one is, “when I have a home where I feel safe and welcome, I will at last be happy”. Another one I say often to my dear Judy is “you make me so happy”. Yet none of these words are true.

I decided to look up the word “happiness” in the dictionary for help.

“Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.” That’s all very well, I thought to myself, but how do I get there? How can I find that sense of joy and contentment.

Then I tried to remember times when I have been really happy. Actually this morning I had a fleeting moment of joy. I was watering the garden, the sun was shining and a cooling breeze tickled my almost naked body (our garden is very private!). A tiny humming bird was buzzing around my head. A sudden trill of joy filled me, just by being alive in that moment. I had a split second of being totally in the NOW. And as soon as I realised it was happening, I began thinking about it, and it was gone. The humming bird was still there, so was the garden and the sun, it was all just as beautiful, but I had lost the pure beingness of the moment, being part of it all.

I do actually know how happiness is. I also know I can’t “make” it happen, it can only happen when I am somehow, almost unknowingly, doing those things that create happiness. Luckily a dear friend of mine, Anna Rudel from Lokahi Acupuncture (she’s amazing) put the suggestions below on her Facebook page just a few days ago. I am going to print these out and stick them on my bathroom mirror so I will see them every day. (The other thing on my mirror is the Four Agreements from Don Miguel Ruiz).

1. Be grateful Some study participants were asked to write letters of gratitude to people who had helped them in some way. The study found that these people reported a lasting increase in happiness – over weeks and even months – after implementing the habit. What’s even more surprising: Sending the letter is not necessary. Even when people wrote letters but never delivered them to the addressee, they still reported feeling better afterwards.

2. Be optimistic – Another practice that seems to help is optimistic thinking. Study participants were asked to visualize an ideal future – for example, living with a loving and supportive partner, or finding a job that was fulfilling – and describe the image in a journal entry. After doing this for a few weeks, these people too reported increased feelings of well-being.

3. Count your blessings – People who practice writing down three good things that have happened to them every week show significant boosts in happiness, studies have found. It seems the act of focusing on the positive helps people remember reasons to be glad.

4. Use your strengths – Another study asked people to identify their greatest strengths, and then to try to use these strengths in new ways. For example, someone who says they have a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. This habit, too, seems to heighten happiness.

5. Commit acts of kindness – It turns out helping others also helps ourselves. People who donate time or money to charity, or who altruistically assist people in need, report improvements in their own happiness.

So there you have it, creating these five habits will increase our happiness.  And instead of saying “you make me happy” to Judy, I could say “I am very grateful and happy that you are in my life”. Years ago I kept a Gratitude Journal, every night I would write a list of things I was grateful for. Whatever happened to the Journal?

When I begin to count my blessings, there is no end to them. I have wonderful children and grandchildren, I lived at Findhorn for 25 years, I have friends who love me and whom I love, I have this amazing computer I am typing on, I live at a time of amazing changes and wonders.

Just one more thing that has just occurred to me. Forgiveness. Yes, I would add that to the list. Forgiving others and myself.

Going through my iPhoto albums, I’ve come across a few (well, lots really) pictures when I was really really happy.


Happiness is spending time with an old friend.


Happiness is the first sweet fig of the season.


Happiness is a juicy water melon


Happiness is being a child again


Happiness is soft teddy bear


Happiness is the freedom of Salt Spring island in Canada


Happiness is knowing your Congressman is on your side. Our hero Mike Honda.


Happiness is having tea with my old friend Leona


Are you smiling yet?




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Let’s talk about…psychic protection

July 9th, 2010
Until 1995 I knew nothing about psychic protection or psychic attacks. I did know that in some places I felt uncomfortable, even fearful and in others I felt light and safe and somewhere I really wanted to be. Same thing with people, I could feel a kind of unpleasant vibe from certain men or women, while others exuded love and joyful acceptance.

Then Judy Hall came into my life. Judy is a well known author and psychic and we published her book The Art of Psychic Protection in 1966. Talking to Judy and later reading the book, I began to learn so much more about good and bad energy, and how to either open myself to positive vibes or close myself to harmful projections. I began to realise that we all need some psychic protection in our lives.

Not long after I first read the book, a woman I knew slightly moved into the house next door to us. I began to feel very uncomfortable walking past her house and the shop she had opened. Later I learned that she was very negative about the Findhorn Community and she and some other friends were doing everything they could to harm us. It was not a good feeling because they had a strong psychic energy and were using it in harmful ways.

I decided to learn to use some of the suggestions in Judy’s book to protect myself, something I could use quickly whenever I felt something bad was happening. I learned about visualising helpful items like a shiny shield to hold in front of me. In a really bad emergency I would mentally jump into a bright, shiny new dustbin and close the lid. Carrying a crystal can also help.

To protect our house I visualised a very large green pyramid which covered the whole house. I still do this today whenever I go on vacation and leave the house (now a very different house in a different country!). I take a couple of minutes and “see” the green pyramid protecting the house until we return.

Using water can help. If you feel bad energy inside you or around you, have a shower, sing in the shower, laugh, anything to cleanse your aura and lift your spirit. You can also do this by visualising a shower of light.

One thing I use frequently is when I am driving a car, or when I am a passenger in one. To protect the car and the passengers, I visualise a mental pentagram over the car which moves along with us.

There are way too many more suggestions for me to mention here. If this is something you want to learn more about, and I do recommend it, have a look at The Art of Psychic Protection. I recently sent away for a new copy for myself. I am very glad I did! It has reminded me again when to open myself and when to close myself to harmful “stuff”.

If you work with people or in dark and negative surroundings, a couple of minutes with a quick fix can make all the difference. Policemen, counselors, teachers, supermarket cashiers, prison officers, doctors and nurses, airport workers, dentists, all these jobs can lead to difficult and even dangerous encounters. Learning a few helpful tips can make you much safer, both emotionally and physically.

I could go on talking about this forever. Do ask anything you think I might be able to answer. Better still, get the book! In the USA it is published by Weiser Books, and you can get it from Amazon.com. In the UK and rest of the world go to Findhorn Press.


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Let’s talk about… Forgiveness.

June 30th, 2010
I’ve been finding this one particularly difficult to talk about, so I probably really need to do it. Over the past 30 years I have learned a lot about forgiveness and what hanging on to resentments and blaming can do to me. And yet I still do it, and I don’t know why.  I even know that the person I hurt most by my unwillingness to forgive is me.

And then there is the problem of forgiving myself. That seems to be the hardest thing to do. So every time I come across something that addresses forgiveness, I sit up and take notice. I mean, I really want to get rid of all those black holes in me that stop me being happy and living a more relaxed and successful life.

I have one particular issue at the moment that is really bugging me. Not long ago a friend did several things that really upset me, she told lies, she did things that made my life difficult for a while. It’s all over now, but I can’t seem to truly forgive her. So I avoid her, and can’t let go of the hurt. And just saying to myself “I forgive her”, that does not work at all. Do I need to confront her and tell her how I feel? Perhaps I will eventually just forget about it all, but I think that is unlikely.


Yesterday I came across a short video on Facebook, where Olivier Clerc talks about his new book The Gift of Forgiveness: A Magical Encounter with don Miguel Ruiz . I have promised myself to get the book and read it. That he speaks about what he learned from Don Miguel Ruiz is a special bonus, because Don Miguel is one of my very favourite teachers. I have his Four Agreements on my bathroom mirror and read them every day. In case you don’t know them, here they are.

agreement 1


Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2


Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3


Don’t make assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4


Always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Perhaps this last agreement will serve me best in dealing with forgiveness?



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Let’s talk about…Manifestation

June 23rd, 2010
One of the first things I learned when I went to Findhorn in 1975 was manifestation. I arrived after David Spangler, who had written this book, had already left the community but the lessons learned from it were still very much part of our educational programmes.

I had learned the concept of manifestation some years earlier from another source, where it was called creative law. I had used this law on several occasions over the years; it is a law, like manifestation, which uses the spiritual laws of attraction that can allow you to create the things you want in your life. It sounds very easy to do, but I realised it can also bring you unforseen surprises. Let me tell you the story of a friend to whom this happened.

Mary (not her real name) had fallen on hard financial times, lost her job, all her savings were gone and she felt desperate. When she heard about creative law she decided to try it. It all seemed so simple. What you need to do is imagine what it is you want, go inside and really put all your energy into what you are dreaming of. Do this for five minutes, one hour, whatever it takes until you feel it has “taken.” Then with total faith, release it and forget about it. Mary saw herself holding large amounts of money, counting more and more until she felt she could release it to the Universe.


It worked. Up to a point. Not long after this she got a new job in a bank as a teller, counting large amounts of money! Not quite what she thought she had imagined. Of course she did now have a job and was earning a living, but the large amounts of money – like winning the lottery – had not happened. What she had done is gone for the physical manifestation of hard cash instead of looking for what she really needed, which was a sense of richness and gratitude and joy in her life.

Another challenge I have dealt with in myself about manifestation is the fact that if God (or whatever you want to call the spiritual energy of the universe) already knows what I need, why do I have to ask for it at all? Can’t I just say, “God, you know what I need better than I do, thank you for taking care of me and giving me what I need?”

I believe that can work, but I also believe that we can help God a bit by showing our preferences. If there are limitless things we can have, create and do, perhaps we need to prioritise those things that are most important to us. It could be a particular kind of job, or a relationship, perhaps even something like a sense of purpose in our lives.

Then,  instead of saying, “I want a job as a teacher in the local high school”, try feeling strongly how you want your new job to make you feel. Imagine your love of children, your desire to share your wisdom and the satisfaction of making a difference in many young lives. How does that feel? Put all your emotion into your request.

There are countless was of using the Universal energy of attraction. I personally have a God Can. I took an old Coke can, covered it with paper and wrote GOD CAN on it. I now write little notes to God, infuse them with my love and thanks, then put them into the can and forget about them. You know something? I don’t even know any more what the notes say, I just trust that it will all be well.

There are countless ways of manifesting what you want/need in your life. I just leafed through the Findhorn Press Catalogue and found  The Complete Book of Manifestation with Crystals. I’ve never tried that myself. Then I found Crafting a Magical Life, Manifesting Your Heart’s Desire through Creative Projects. If manifesting peace inside yourself and for the world is something you want to create, there is no better book than James Twyman’s Praying Peace, written with Gregg Braden and Doreen Virtue.  Another great little book is The Findhorn Book of  Everyday Abundance by Karen Hood Caddy. Going beyond Findhorn Press, there is also our dear friend David Spangler. I see his original book The Laws of Manifestion is still available from Amazon, as is Everyday Miracles: The Inner Art of Manifestation.

You will be surprised at what got me thinking about manifestation right now. When I flew to New York recently I bought myself the Oprah Magazine. Inside I found a fascinating article called The Vision Thing. I just had a look and found it is also on line, so click on it, an interesting read.

Come and join me again soon and we’ll talk about some other life changing topics.


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